


Tell Me I'm Pretty

by MsThunderFrost



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bottom Nathan Summers, Cutting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Top Wade Wilson, Wade Wilson Feels, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsThunderFrost/pseuds/MsThunderFrost
Summary: After a week of Wade dodging his calls, refusing to leave the house (and, likely, the bed), and essentially rendering the silver-haired teen a nervous wreck, Nate had broken in – it really wasn’t all that difficult when Wade left the front door unlocked – to Wade’s house and was currently attempting to beat down his door. Wade was being as helpful as ever, making as much noise as humanly possible in an attempt to drown out Nate’s voice. A vein popped on Nate’s forehead, and he was seriously considering taking the entire fucking door off its hinges when the track switched over…Now, blaring so loud it was near-deafening on his side of the door, Wade was playing Weird Al’s parody on the annoyingly catchy “Barbie Girl” – “Ugly Girl”. And Wade was singing along at the top of his lungs, just as out of key as ever. Wonderful.





	Tell Me I'm Pretty

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the tags! They contain important warnings about the content of the story!!
> 
> WARNINGS: self-harm (cutting), mental health issues, abusive parents (it's not heavily focused on, but there are various mentions of child abandonment), etc. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

“Wade, you’re being ridiculous. Open the fucking door and we’ll talk about this like two mature adults -,”

Wade continued singing along to the Rod Stewart CD playing softly in the distance. Nate wasn’t entirely sure (Wade’s not the greatest of singers on the best of days, and this is decidedly _not_ the best of days), but it sounds an awful lot like “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”. Wonderful.

It wasn’t uncommon for Wade to feel insecure about his looks, but locking himself inside of his room for a week? Nate had started to worry after Wade’s desk had sat empty for three days straight, the missed assignments and quizzes piling up. If Wade’s parents had actually given two shits about how much school he was missing, perhaps they would’ve actually bothered to call him out sick. But unsurprisingly, Wade’s parents were decidedly absent – both from the townhouse that Wade had constructed into his own personal fortress of solitude and from Wade’s life in general.

Nate had tried, on more than one occasion, to convince Wade to come and spend the night, or the weekend, or hell, even the week at his place when his parents decide to fall off the face of the earth, but Wade always refused. Never mind the fact that he couldn’t stand accepting ‘hand-outs’ – when, really, it was more like Nate had known his boyfriend for the better part of three years and knew just how well he handled being left on his own (which, spoiler alert: wasn’t very well at all) and he was trying to be a considerate partner – but also, as he loved pointing out, Nate’s parents hated him. With a passion.

Nate had tried telling him that, regardless of their personal feelings for him, they’d rather know he was safe and well under their own roof than worry about him starting his own house on fire because he couldn’t boil water… Wade was important to Nate, and so they’d learn to deal… Eventually. But Wade wouldn’t have it.

So, after a week of Wade dodging his calls, refusing to leave the house (and, likely, the bed), and essentially rendering the silver-haired teen a nervous wreck, Nate had broken in – it really wasn’t all that difficult when Wade left the front door unlocked – to Wade’s house and was currently attempting to beat down his door. Wade was being as helpful as ever, making as much noise as humanly possible in an attempt to drown out Nate’s voice. A vein popped on Nate’s forehead, and he was seriously considering taking the entire fucking door off its hinges when the track switched over…

Now, blaring so loud it was near-deafening on _his_ side of the door, Wade was playing Weird Al’s parody on the annoyingly catchy “Barbie Girl” – “Ugly Girl”. And Wade was singing along at the top of his lungs, just as out of key as ever. Wonderful.

“Wade, please…” Nate pressed his forehead against the smooth mahogany door, which vibrated with every reverberation of the bass. “I don’t like it when you get like this.”

“Like what?” Nate startled – it had been so long since he’d heard the younger teen actually speak, and his voice was scratchy and ragged, as if he’d been screaming and not ‘singing’. “Upset that you called out someone else’s name while I was fucking you into the mattress? Upset because you let that same tramp hang all over you while we’re at school. Upset because -,”

“No, I hate when you don’t talk to me. When you get so angry that you don’t know what to do, and you bottle it all up inside and wait and wait until finally… you blow up.” Nate sighed, “I get that I fucked up, I do. But I can’t do anything to fix it if you lock yourself away like this.”

Wade was silent for a moment, before mumbling, “Yeah, well I’m not expecting you to fix it this time.”

Nate’s brows furrowed together, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“They were right, you know.” Wade said, the music still mocking him in the background, “You deserve someone better. Someone beautiful, with all of their pieces held together with something stronger than bubblegum and paperclips. You deserve _her_.”

Nate started beating on the door again – what the hell was it reinforced with, lead? – “Doesn’t it even matter that I don’t _want_ her? I made a stupid mistake and _I’m sorry_. I’ve been trying to tell you just how sorry I am for the past week, but you keep shutting me out.”

“Maybe sorry isn’t enough this time.” Wade said solemnly, before going unsettlingly quiet.

“Wade?” Nate felt his heart leap up into his throat, “Wade? Wade, open the fucking door!”

There was no answer. Nate swallowed hard, beating on the door until his hand turned red and blistered. When it didn’t budge, he took a few steps back, mentally prepping himself for the force of the impact… he charged at the door full-force, stumbling a little when the door gave slightly beneath his weight. White-hot pain shot through his shoulder (he was still recovering from a torn rotator cuff injury – his physical therapist would kill him if he saw him now), but he shook it off, thumping himself a few times on the shoulder to rev himself up for take two. Taking a deep breath, he charged a second time –

He heard the tell-tale sound of splintering wood, but the door was still standing strong. Nate took a deep breath – maybe the coach was right, and he _had_ lost weight between seasons, but you know what they say, third time’s the charm – and went barreling through the door. The lock busted, and the door slammed open, and Nate was immediately assaulted with the overwhelming scents of urine and blood. Perhaps even more alarming, however, was the _sight_ of Wade.

His boyfriend sat in the middle of his bed, the dark blankets pulled up to his waist. He was naked from the waist-up, with tiny, angry red cuts intermingled with soft pink lines which had almost completely faded. The cuts grew progressively deeper and fresher as they traveled down his arms, the freshest of which was bleeding freely onto his blanket. A razor blade, still wet with blood, was clutched tightly between trembling fingers as he pressed it to his wrist.

On the bedside table was an open bag of cocaine, remnants of the white powder discoloring the black-brown stained wood. So, he _had_ left the house recently, to raid Blind Al’s apartment for his drug stash. Nate swallowed hard, forcing down his desire to run to Wade and envelop the smaller man in his arms. He didn’t want to risk startling him with the razor still in his hands…

“You weren’t supposed to see.” Wade was the first to break the silence. His beautiful hazel eyes were swollen and red-rimmed, and he refused to make eye contact with Nate. “You weren’t supposed to care. I… I wasn’t going to be a burden anymore.”

“Wade…” He felt like all of the air had been forcibly sucked out of his lungs, and he’s terrified, because he doesn’t know what to say to talk Wade down.

“Nobody wants me! I’m not even entirely sure where my parents are right now. You know what they did? They left me a fucking post-it note on the fridge telling me to try not to let us get robbed while they’re gone.” He laughed brokenly, “There’s no food in the fucking fridge, no money in my bank account. I can’t get anywhere without the car, which has gone missing too -,”

Nate’s eyes widened – he wanted to hunt Wade’s parents down and skin them alive. “Wade, listen to me. You _are not_ a burden. The fact that anyone _ever_ made you feel like that is unforgiveable.” He took a hesitant step toward Wade, “I will never forgive myself for hurting you, for making you feel like this was the only way out -,”

”But I am a burden to you!” Wade cut him off with a despair-filled cry. “You’re always cleaning up after my messes. Even now, seeing me like this, you want to glue all of my pieces back together. Why can’t you just let me break?”

”Because I love you, Wade.”

Wade sniffled, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand and hissing when the salty water made contact with his open wounds. “W-What?”

Nate’s face softened considerably, “You have to be the world’s biggest dumbass. Or maybe that’s me, for not realizing sooner that you didn’t know where I stand.” He took another step toward Wade, and when the teary-eyed teen didn’t move, he finally closed the gap between them and knelt down at the foot of the bed. “I love you.”

Wade shook his head, “I’m high as a fucking kite right now. This must be one of those hallucinations they warned me about -,”

”I love you, Wade.”

”Because there is no way in hell that you’re here right now, acting like this is some cheesy romcom and declaring your love for me.”

”But I do love you, Wade.”

“And I’m sitting here, in a pool of piss and blood... I must look so beautiful right now.” Wade laughed, and it sounded almost, _almost_ genuine. “Eww, don’t. Don’t sit on the... okay, I don’t care how much you love me, that’s just nasty.”

Nate rolled his eyes, before making himself more comfortable on the bed. The sheets were slightly damp, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as Wade was making it out to be. “I love you.” He said again, his voice firm. “And as much as I’d love to keep going back and forth with this,” he gently took hold of his injured arm, “Please, let me help you.”

Wade stared at him uncertainly, “I don’t want to be a bur-,”

”I’m not asking because I have to help you, I’m asking because I _want_ to.”

Wade seemed to consider the offer for a moment, before nodding slowly. But when Nate went to climb off the bed and retrieve a washcloth and some bandages, he squeezed his wrist and refused to let go. Nate watched as his sixteen-year-old boyfriend’s face crumpled, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. Without a word, Nate opened his arms and brought the smaller man to his chest. Wade burrowed his face into his shoulder - the wounds which still bled freely stained Nate’s gray muscle shirt, and soon enough his neck was slick with tears and snot and spittle… but it only made him hug the smaller teen tighter.

He wasn’t entirely sure when his own tears started to fall. He knew how very close he’d come to losing Wade, and knew that they weren’t out of the water quite yet. But Wade was leaning on him, opening his arms to him and _trusting_ him to not let him fall for the first time in almost a week. He wasn’t about to do anything that would endanger the fragile olive branch that Wade was extending to him.

When the tears finally slowed, Nate thought it best that they walk to the bathroom together. However, despite how desperately the smaller teen might’ve wanted to walk, he’d spent the last week living off of nothing more than a mostly-stale bag of spicy nacho Doritos and his handy-dandy bag of coke. The second that the bed was not supporting the majority of his weight, his legs went out from underneath him. But this time, Nate was there to catch him.

He carried him down the hall and into the bathroom, before setting him down on the toilet. He made sure to keep in Wade’s direct line of sight while he retrieved a wash cloth from the nearby rack and soaked it in warm water, before retrieving a bottle of antiseptic and a roll of bandages from the medicine cabinet.

“I was waiting for you to finish with wrestling practice the other night.” Wade said, wincing slightly as the peroxide bubbled in his still-bleeding wounds. “Not all of the guys on the team know about… well, _this_ ,” he motioned between the two of them, “And that’s all right! I’m not trying to say that that’s a bad thing or anything like that. I mean, yeah I’m a little tired of them all thinking I’m just thirsty for the Cable D when _really_ it’s the other way around -,”

Gently, Nate pressed the warm washcloth to Wade’s aching skin, letting the blood soak into the soft material. He applied light pressure, careful to avoid hurting Wade was much as possible whilst also doing his best to slow the flow of blood. “Wade, you’re rambling.”

“Right.” He swallowed hard, “They were talking about you and this new girl. Apparently she’s the only girl that managed to make the cut for the team, and the coach wanted you to take her under you wing. I probably would’ve been fine if I hadn’t seen the two of you leave together.” He smiled weakly, “Nate, she looked at you like you hung the moon and strung along the stars. She looked at you like _I_ look at you.”

He wrung out the cloth, before setting back to work on his arm. “You better open up those scarred ears of yours, Wade, ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once.” Nate said firmly, “You’re the _only_ one I want to look at me like that. Ever.”

“I don’t think you really grasp the severity of what you’d be giving up.” Wade continued. There were fresh tears brewing in his eyes, but he was doing his best not to let them fall. He needed to get this out, couldn’t risk allowing Nate to be blinded by his bleeding heart. “She was _beautiful_.”

“ _You’re_ beautiful.” Nate insisted, setting the washcloth aside and beginning to wrap Wade’s arm.

“I’m a bloody fucking mess. Literally.” Wade began to pick at one of the freshly healed scabs on his chest, only for Nate to roughly smack his hand away. “I’m not worth it.”

“You are to me.”

After taking the time to clean out each and every scratch that lined the younger man’s chest, he grabbed a couple of baby wipes from beside the sink and washed him down. Between having just taken the time to clean and wrap all of his wounds, and knowing how weak Wade was after locking himself in the bedroom for the better part of the week, he just wasn’t about to risk it in the bathtub. For now, he just wanted him clean enough that he didn’t get any rashes or infections from laying in a puddle of piss for who knows how long. Afterwards, he dressed him in fresh pajamas and took him downstairs.

Later, there would be time to strip the bed and wash the sheets, to help Wade into a proper bath, to talk this through like the mature soon-to-be adults that they could be when they really set their minds to it. Right now, Nate just wanted to pull out the sofa bed, turn on Adult Swim, and fall asleep to the comforting sound of Wade’s heartbeat beating in rhythm with his own, the occasional snort of laughter causing his entire body to shake as he somehow managed to listen to an entire episode of _Bob’s Burgers_ in his sleep. It took minutes to prep the sofa bed, and as soon as it was ready he flopped himself down, bringing Wade down on top of him.

Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for Wade to sack out. But before he went completely under, he murmured, “Tell me I’m pretty.”

“I’ll do you one better.” He said, pressing a kiss to Wade’s forehead. “You are beautiful, and I love you. Scars and all.” He leaned down to press a soft kiss to Wade’s bandaged arm.

Wade smiled softly, burrowing deeper into the comfort of Nate’s arms. “Love you too.”

 


End file.
